Advice for women

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Advice for men

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One of the biggest ways to attract a man is by being fascinating. If you can arouse his curiosity, you'll capture his interest. There are several ways to do this, and they all revolve around cultivating a fascinating persona.

If you like to read, read more. Read lots of different types of things...newspapers, magazines, science-fiction novels, internet blogs, and how-to books. When you read a lot, you know a lot, and thus you'll have a lot to contribute to a conversation.

News, stories about interesting people, articles about politics or where the world is headed, or interesting novels are all good fuel for scintillating conversations.

Keep an open mind about other's opinions and don't try to come off as an expert. Let there be give and take in the conversation. Who just might learn something new that makes you even more fascinating at the next party!

Another way to become fascinating is to take up some new sport or hobby, preferably one that isn't terribly common. What's common? Golf, mountain biking, video games, road running. What's not common? Whitewater kayaking, skydiving, trail running, tie-dyeing shirts, and Ultimate Frisbee, among other things.

So try to find a sport or hobby that's little-known, yet still has a fairly high "cool factor." Think snowboarding prior to 2000, or mountain biking prior to about 1990. Don't stray into the realm of stuff that's off-beat, yet boring, like button collecting.

Don't like reading or sports? Try travel. Splurge and take a nice vacation to somewhere in the Caribbean with your friends. Then you'll have something interesting to talk about. If travel abroad is out of your budget, consider quick weekend getaways to nearby attractions like beaches, lakes, or mountains. Even a day trip on the weekend will do if it's to somewhere that most people haven't been.

Another source of good conversation is your friends. If one of your friends goes on the kind of trips you wish you could go on but can't afford, pump them for information about what it's like in Japan, or Rome, or the Bahamas. Then you'll have travel stories to tell, even if they're second-hand.

In general, you should try to get out and do as many things and be with as many people as you can, for two reasons. One is that you'll get stories out of them, stories that will make you a fascinating person when you tell them. The other is that, who knows, you might just meet a guy when you're out and about.

Ultimately, the most important thing to remember is: DON'T go out looking for a man.

You'll find your greatest success when you're not looking.

Sound strange? It's not--there's actually a good reason for this when you stop and think about it.

When you set a goal to meet men, you project that to people, whether it's consciously or subconsciously. And usually there's a tinge of desperation, a hint of neediness.

When you're at a party or just hanging out with friends at a public place and you're looking around at the men there, scoping them out, they see that and it turns them off. It makes you look like a needy, clingy woman who just can't wait to get her claws into a man.

Instead, even if you are looking for someone, push that thought to the back of your mind and just live your life. Go out with friends, smile, laugh, and have fun. Every single woman I've ever talked to about this has told me that she's met the very best men--including husbands--when she was not really looking for them, just minding her own business.

Make the effort to engage the world by taking up a new sport, game, hobby, or cause. Don't go there to meet men, go there to do whatever they're doing there. The men will be there.


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