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EVERYTHING COMES IN TENS

A look into the lighter side of dating

Things haven't really changed when comes to dating at today's times. Being new to the dating scene at this time of my life, I was doing some research and I have come to the decision that things really are not all that different today. Here are some of the things I have found while doing my research.

Here are 10 tips on flirting, as with any suggestions, you take what you can use and leave the rest.

10. SHOW THOSE PEARLY WHITES: Smiling is contagious. When you smile it lights up your whole face and draws people to you. Plus, it's a great exercise for your face, so smile.

9. USE FLATTERY: Compliment the person you're flirting with. The best compliments have the element of surprise about them, something that makes the "flirtee" realize that you have noticed something about them that attracts you.

8. LOOK: Make eye contact; look him in the eye when you're speaking to him. This lets him know that you're interested in him, and that is encouraging.

7. LISTEN: Take the time to really listen to what he's saying to you. Listening is a true art and the person you're flirting with will appreciate it. Everyone loves to be heard.

6. GO IT ALONE: If you're with a group of friends, wait until you're alone before you approach someone. That way, if you're rejected (God Forbid), it's not in front of a group of people.

5. BE ASSERTIVE: Change you're behavior; don't be passive, and wait to see if he's interested in you. If you like what you see, go for it!

4. USE PROPS: Never leave home without a prop because they are great natural conversation starters. Good props include: unusual jewelry, a distinctive bag, an interesting book, a foreign newspaper or international magazine, etc. Hint: Make sure the foreign whatever is in a language you understand.

3. HAVE FUN: Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability.

2. START A CONVERSATION: The best opening line is simply saying, "hello." Talk about your surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, make a joke, state an opinion. Make sure you are calm and composed but just do it before the person you've got your eye on walks out or past you in the street, never to be seen again.

1. GET AN ATTITUDE: A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic, open and positive.

Okay, now that you're a bit warmed up, here's what the Oxford's Social Issue Research Centre (SIRC) has found when women flirt.

Every woman subconsciously flirts in the first few seconds of meeting a man to see if he is possible partner material or not. The research shows that over two-thirds of flirting is initiated by women: "Flirting is governed by a complex set of unwritten laws of etiquette which dictate where, when with whom and in what manner we flirt. We generally obey these unofficial laws instinctively, without being conscious of doing so." Say's one researcher. So, fluttering your eyelashes and making eye contact encourages a man to reveal his true intentions towards you. So you can decide whether to entice him back to your place or make a run for it. According to these scientists have found that there are five distinct stages of subconscious flirting a woman uses to attract a man, starting with a 'You've got potential' glance and ending with 'come and get me' touching.

Stage one: Fleeting glance, a five-second peek at him, followed by another look, with a bit of eyelash fluttering and the hint of a smile.

Stage two: The gaze, you up the stakes by looking directly into his eyes for three seconds or more. No blinking this time and mouth slightly open.

Stage three: Hair touching, you run your fingers through your hair for up to six seconds-this is the classic 'I want to make myself attractive to you action.'

Stage four: Head tilting, Things start to heat up as you tilt your head sideways, exposing the erogenous zone of your neck.

Stage five: Touching, its game on as you touch his shoulder with you're hand-subconsciously, your taking an interest in how he looks.

The problem with all this is that men can mistake this vetting process for a come-on, only to be knocked back. 'Sometimes men tend to mistake friendliness for sexual interest,' says Kate Fox of SIRC. But this time it's their subconscious that's taking over. 'Men are evolutionary programmed to be optimistic so they are more likely to succeed in passing on their genes.'

These are meant to be suggestions only. This is just a glimpse in the world of dating and a fun look at how women may act in the company of men. I am not an expert by any means, but I wanted to share with those who may be in the same situation as I am. A single mature woman who is back in the dating mix, after being married for a long period of time.

 

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