Advice for men
Compliments Unleashed Failsafe Methods to Attracting Younger Women Getting Your Shy Girl to Open Up Having a Win-Win Attitude How Attraction Works with Women How and Why Wowen Test You How to Flirt How to Get a Girl You Already Know and Like to Feel Inner-Gut Attraction for You How to Get More Phone Numbers and Dates How to Get the Best Out of Your Looks Kissing Technique Looks: Do They Matter? Mastering the Art of Conversation "Overcome Your Fears and Meet More Women" Standing Out from the Crowd The Best Gift You Can Give a Woman The Tantalize Technique Top Methods for Approaching Women What Causes to Get Rejected What to Do If She Is Not Interested Why You Have a Great Chance with Good-Looking Women Worst Dating Mistakes Men Make "Unleash Your Inner Confidence"
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HAVING A WIN-WIN ATTITUDE
In every attempt at getting a woman's attention, there is the possibility of rejection.
Up until now, we have looked at ways to maximize your chances of success with women, but there is never a guarantee that you will always get the girl. Real life, unlike Hollywood, doesn't always end happy-ever-after. And it shouldn't. Just because you want a girl doesn't mean that she's best for you, or that you're best for her. It takes maturity to accept that the people we're attracted to don't have to be attracted to us back.
There is one great way to lessen the blow of not getting what you want, and it has to do with the way you think about social interaction. Socially skilled people have a win-win attitude. By virtue of this attitude alone, you can experience great successes in almost any social interaction. Once you have a win-win attitude, you will be able to handle almost any situation you are in. It will help you think positively. It will help you grow and develop as a person.
So what does this attitude look like?
In a social situation, people with a win-win attitude make sure that all parties leave feeling satisfied with the outcome. They aren't the sort of people to jump into an argument; instead, they discuss their views with a respect of the other person's view. They know that if they try to impose their perspective on everyone, people will leave the situation unhappy.
This idea of a win-win situation can be applied to meeting women. Before you meet a girl, try to think about what your intentions are. Perhaps she is beautiful, or interesting, or funny. So … do you want to get to know her? Do you want to date her? Do you want her to notice you?
If your intention is to get to know her, you might approach her, introduce yourself, and ask her, "So, what do you think of the band playing tonight?" So far, so good. However, what happens if she mumbles, "It's crap," then turns her back on you?
It is all too easy to let the situation become very awkward. Your confidence has just been torn to pieces. You may have sudden doubts as to whether you are any good at all. Maybe you're really not as smooth as you thought; maybe something about you just makes women turn away. This situation could easily become a tragedy where you become upset.
For many men, this type of behavior becomes a pattern. Every time they are rejected, they add it to the list of grievances in their heart, more reasons that they will never find a woman. As a result, they find it harder and harder to make the effort. Or, when they do approach women, they expect failure before they start.
This sort of behavior makes it even harder to find women that will respond to you, because they will sense your underlying expectation of rejection. You may even become increasingly defensive in an effort to protect your feelings. The problem with this type of reaction is that by getting your defenses up, you prevent new people from getting to know the real you. You stop trying to open up to new people. So many guys sabotage themselves this way. Unfortunately, you won't get very far at all in the dating game if you protect your heart from rejection all the time.
If you want to get anywhere with women, you have to be happy with yourself. If you are happy with yourself, you will be able to smile, relax, and open up with someone new. If a woman doesn't respond to your overtures, you'll be able to shrug it off and let her save face, because you will have mastered the concept of the win-win situation.
Strange as it sounds, women don't like having to reject a guy. They don't really know how to do it, which is why they do it so badly. So help them out. Accept their rejection with composure. Add a friendly parting line, like, "Sorry to have bothered you," or, "Not a problem, understood." Then walk away with a calm expression on your face. Consider the experience merely a blip on an overall fantastic evening.
This sort of reaction creates a win-win situation, because you haven't let her reaction make you feel badly or spoil your evening, and she won't feel uncomfortable or guilty bumping into you again.
If your intention, when meeting women, is to come out with a win-win situation, you can't go wrong. Remember the old cliche: "Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
YOU CAN DO IT!
All attempts at love involve a risk of hurt, but the benefit of that love is so much greater than your fear of hurt. So you need to accept that risk and turn it into a positive experience.
I have loved a few people in my time, and I have been hurt, too, but I choose to look at the bad times in a unique way. The bad times were a very small price to pay for the fantastic times I had when I was in love. In fact, I would be prepared to go through all that rejection again, because the feeling of love, once you have it, is so overwhelming and good.
Rejection is a momentary thing, and you shouldn't take it personally. If you are rejected by someone, at least you know where you stand. Accept it and move on. There are plenty of people worthy of love out there just waiting to find you.
So next time you meet a girl, be totally positive. Don't take the situation too seriously. Dating should be fun, not life or death.
For example, if you give a friendly compliment to a girl who interprets it as an unwelcome advance, just respond to her rejection with a friendly, "Well, I still mean it, I think you are a nice girl." Then smile, turn, and walk away.
She will be flattered by your compliment, and she will see that you are confident enough to not to worry too much about her choice. She will leave feeling happy about herself, and you will leave feeling good in the knowledge that you made someone feel good about herself. This is truly a win, win situation.