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Advice for women

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LOOKS: DO THEY MATTER?

Now listen up guys, the answer to this question may come as a bit of a surprise to you.

Looks are a sufficient but not necessary condition for getting the girl. In plain speak, this means that looks will help you meet beautiful women, but you definitely do not need to be tall, dark and handsome to attract a beautiful woman. Women tend to be more interested in what is on the inside—personality, sense of humor, matters, etc—than what's on the outside.

This contrast in attitudes comes back to gender differences. Women seek partners who are able to provide a stable and secure environment for them to raise and nurture children, which means that they look for partners who are stable, economically secure, and devoted to them. This is why most women tend to be less interested in one-night stands and more interested in finding a marriage partner.

For us, on the other hand, it's different. There is an old saying that says, "Women need a reason, men just need a place." Our biological destiny is to spread our genes far and wide, and the best way to do that is to have sex with as many women as possible. We're choosy, though. We want the best pick of the gene pool—the best-looking women—so that our offspring has advantages.

Does this mean that all men want is good-looking sex toys while all women want is good men who'll stay with them? No, of course not. But that IS a fair description of many. Being aware that you place more importance on her appearance than she places on yours can have its advantages.

I'm not suggesting that you totally disregard your appearance when you go out. However, what I DO suggest is thinking about how your appearance communicates the type of guy you are. If you dress in a white t-shirt, jeans and a flannel shirt, she'll get a different impression of you than if you dress in slacks and a button-up shirt.

Women look to your appearance for clues about the kind of guy you are—not to qualify or disqualify you according to how good-looking you are. Look at some of the movie actors getting women fawning all over them! Guys like Jerry Seinfeld or Ben Stiller aren't the hottest guys on the market, but they STILL get women throwing themselves at them.

These guys have an advantage that you may not—fame—but it should reassure you that no matter what you look like, you still have something that women want. And no, I'm not talking about your wallet. What I'm talking about is companionship, love, and commitment. Now, you may not be ready to give those things to a woman, but be aware that those three things are the REAL things that ALL women want. Yeah, they're attracted to money, power, and status, but what they really want is a guy who isn't selfish, who loves them for who they are (warts and all), and who'll stay with them.

So, knowing that, how can you maximize your appearance so that women think that you have something to offer them? First of all, put care into your appearance. If you take care of yourself—eat healthy, exercise, get enough sleep, etc—women will be able to tell right off that you're a guy who cares about himself enough to take care of his body. Keep your hair cut regularly, dress with attention to detail, use a washing machine and iron frequently, and polish your shoes when they need it. These details tell women that you're the kind of guy who'll pay attention to the details of seduction as well. If you dress slovenly or sloppily, then she'll assume that since you don't put any effort into your own appearance, you won't pay any effort into the details that please her.

Second, develop a personal style that attracts the girls you want to date. If you want to attract lawyers, don't dress like a skateboarder. If you want to attract a hippy chick, don't dress preppy. The first clue we have as to whether someone is like us or not is by what they wear, so make sure that she'll feel compatible with you from the start.

Last of all, remember to hold your body upright. One facet of appearance that most people neglect is posture. The way you move should show your confidence and healthy self-regard.

If you pay attention to these three components of appearance, I promise you that you'll start attracting more women, without even changing a thing about your natural features! In the next newsletter I'll give you more appearance tips.

 

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