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I being single a blessing or a curse? Single women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s say that freedom "rocks" but loneliness is sometimes the price that is paid. However, the advantages sometimes outweigh the disadvantages. Of course topping the list of advantages is the personal freedom and independence of being single. Women who were married for any length of time are kind of at a loss at first. They are not use to having nobody to "report in to" if they are going to be late getting home. One woman stated that for two months after her separation she found herself looking at her watch checking the time because when she was married she was always home at a certain time to start dinner for when her husband came home. "It takes a little getting use to, but once I realized I didn't have to do that anymore, I stopped wearing my watch." Single women are valuing their independence. They are making their own money, and enjoying spending that money how they choose without having to answer to an irate husband blowing his stack over a pair of expensive shoes.

Many women are also enjoying their independence when it comes to dating also. They seem to enjoy going out and meeting new people and trying different things new relationships bring to their lives. There are some disadvantages to being a single woman also. You can't have good without having some bad in the mix. Many women claim that not having someone around to share things with can be a drawback to being single. Some women also claim that yes they are making their own money but they are barely making enough to make ends meet. Others mention they worry about growing old alone with nobody to care for them if they become disabled is a big drawback. Last but not least, women miss not being in a sexual relationship, contrary to popular belief, women like sex just as much as men. Some women do not choose to be alone and not dating, but maybe the area they live in does not sustain a good amount of single men. They find that men and women are looking for different things in their dates also. Women date because they want someone to do things with and have someone to talk to, most of all to have fun. The most important thing men look for when going on a date is sex, all the other stuff comes later.

What is the more mature women looking for when she goes out on a date? Pretty much the same thing we all are looking for in a relationship. Personality and a sense of humor are the important characteristics when they go out on a date. Intelligence and moral or religious values along with physical attractiveness are also important. Health is another important factor. A very active lifestyle, being employed and a good income correlate most significantly with health status. Women in their 40s and 50s who are able to take care of themselves financially also are healthier and under less stress. Today, when women get divorced and after a grieving period, they start working on themselves. They start eating better and exercising. Some women take a class or go back to school to earn a degree or get a better one. Their outlook on life is very positive and they are happy.

Not all women have it so good though. It's been a hard road for them since they separated from their husbands. A few women in their 40s, and older have little or no professional job skills. They struggle with making ends meet and some have to work two or even three times just to survive. They spent a good part of their married lives staying home and raising a family. Now, their divorced, have no health plan, let alone any pension fund and the best job they can hope for only pays about eight dollars an hour, if that. When women find themselves in this situation, they have the potential to fall into a deep depression. Women with low incomes, not very active, and exercise once or week or not at all, have the biggest chance of getting depressed. They also have a pretty bleak look on life. Some women may just shut down completely and withdraw from society entirely. They don't go out with friends, they don't date, in fact they have no interest in dating at all, the reason being they were hurt very badly by their husband during the divorce and they are afraid to fall in love again because they feel they don't want to take the chance of getting their heart broken again. Hopefully these women will seek counseling for their depression. There is life after divorce, and there is no reason the mature women of today can't be as happy, or even happier than they have been in a long time. There is a whole new world out there, and it is ready for anyone who has the courage to reach out and find happiness.


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