Advice for men
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WHAT TO DO IF SHE'S NOT INTERESTED
Most of us know how to tell if a girl is interested. We know the signs of flirting: the head tilting, the eye contact, the infamous hair flip.
You've studied how to flirt with women, how to make women approach you, and even how to get phone numbers. So you're out making use of your newfound knowledge. You're chatting up a girl at the club, in the mall, or even on the elevator.
But … what do you do when the girl you're into isn't interested?
Let's say you're practicing all the techniques, and you even saw her giving you the eye from across the room. So you catch her gaze and smile, holding the glance for a few seconds then breaking away.
Later, you repeat these steps. And she's still looking at you. You want to approach her, but she's with a group of catty friends, so you wait for just the right moment when she's alone at the jukebox. You're ready to make your move. This is the perfect moment: you'll say "hi," she'll say "hi," you'll make some conversation about music and then it's on. Right?
So you say, "Hi, I'm fill-in-the-blank." And she responds with a "Hi." Good sign! Then you notice her jukebox selection and you comment, "You know, I saw that band in concert in February! They're awesome." Way to go, Smooth-talker, this one's in the bag. "So, do you have any of their albums?" You give her perfect eye contact and a charming smile.
She looks straight back at you and replies with, "Did you know you spilled beer on your shirt?"
Ouch! That one's gotta hurt!
Okay, so most women are actually not that rude when they reject a man. Most women try to spare the opposite sex the ego-crushing humiliation. But still, it's hard when she's not interested. So what is a guy to do?
Well, for starters, don't take it too personally. Chances are, if a woman rudely rejects you, you wouldn't want to be with her anyway. The same goes for a woman who's just not interested. You deserve a woman who's keen on you, not just the other way around. Not everyone you meet will click with you. It's part of life, so accept it and move on.
The real problem comes when women are playing hard to get. How are you supposed to distinguished between a cool "come get me" attitude and a cool ice princess one? Sometimes women just lead you on so that they can watch you fumble and fall on your face, when they had no intention of going anywhere with you anyway.
What are the real signals that a woman isn't interested? Here's a list, starting from the most obvious to the lesser signals that you may not catch.
• She ignores you, insults you or flat out tells you she is not interested.
If a woman at a club is playing cool, here's one way you can see if it's just a pose: ask her to dance! Often, women just get bored with small talk. Let your moves on the dance floor speak volumes.